If You Go Away
by J'aiPeurDeTout
Summary: Katniss Mellark has survived two Hunger Games, been the face of a nationwide revolution and has somehow been able to cope with the normality of being married with two kids. But as much as Peeta is a good father and a sweetheart to Katniss, there's something missing. An unexpected visit from the most unlikely person may just turn Katniss' world on its head.


**If You Go Away**

 _If you go away, on this summer's day_

 _Then you might as well take the sun away_

Katniss Mellark sighed as she stirred the half-made pasta sauce on the stove in front of her. It was a lazy summer evening and the setting sun was casting a pretty orange glow around Katniss' marble kitchen.

Peeta and their son and daughter would be back soon from hunting practise. Her daughter, Primrose Jr. (PJ for short) was an exact copy of Katniss, apart from her eyes which were the exact same gentle shade of blue as Peeta's. Their son Haymitch Jr., or Hay, was the opposite. He was the spitting image of Peeta except he had inherited Prim's darker blue orbs from Katniss' side.

 _Or the birds that flew in the summer sky_

 _When our love was new and our hearts were high_

As Katniss mused about her family, a mockingjay flew down and sat just outside the open door, watching her intently. Katniss whistled a tune and let calm seep through her body as the mockingjay whistled back. She closed her eyes and let the sweet song wash over her body. But when she reopened them, Katniss found that she wasn't alone.

 _When the day was young and the night was long_

 _And the moon stood still for the night bird's song_

Katniss balked at the sight before her. Stood there in Katniss' kitchen, mere feet away and in all her glory, was Clove Kentwell. She was clad in the clothes she died in, but without her vest of knives. She was also clean as can be, there was not a speck of blood or dirt; her clean milky skin shone in the fading sunlight. Her chocolate hair was different however, it was long, longer than Katniss remembered and it was loose, flowing down her back like a cascading waterfall. Her forest green eyes danced in the half light and the sight stole Katniss' breath away.

 _If you go away_

 _If you go away_

 _If you go away_

'Clove?' Katniss whispered, backing away against the stove in fear.

And, true to form, Clove smirked. The nostalgia hit Katniss hard in the gut and breathing was suddenly very difficult.

'You might wanna come away from the stove sweetheart,' Clove teased gently, 'or you may well become the girl on fire again.'

Still too stunned to speak, Katniss did as she was told and sank down into one of her wooden kitchen chairs.

 _But if you stay I'll make you a day_

 _Like no day has been or will be again_

Katniss herself was now thirty-six years of age, but the sight of a still fifteen year old Clove transported her back all those years.

'You've aged well, Fire Girl,' Clove commented, a flicker of something Katniss wasn't sure of rushing across her face briefly. Her eyes roved across Katniss' form thoroughly, as though trying to commit every tiny detail to memory.

'I'll stay this way forever,' Clove whispered, gesturing to her own adolescent body. 'I always did wonder that I'd look like as I grew up.'

Katniss felt her heart tug at Clove's words. 'I'm sorry,' she murmured, steely grey eyes swimming as she gazed into Clove's forest green ones.

Clove raised an eyebrow. 'Why are you sorry? You didn't kill me.'

'But I lived. Peeta and I lived whilst everyone else died. I feel so guilty,' Katniss whispered.

Clove slowly made her way over to Katniss and crouched in front of her slumped form.

'Hey,' she whispered. 'Don't feel guilty. Those games were absolutely vile and because of you, what happened to all of us is never going to happen again. So don't you ever feel guilty again, you hear? You saved us, we're all free.'

Katniss looked up at Clove's words. 'Everyone? Have you seen them all?' She whispered.

'Every last one,' Clove nodded. 'Me and Finch, you know, from District Five, are quite good friends now. I still can't stand Glimmer,' Clove finished darkly. 'Come to think of it, Cato and Glimmer got married not long ago. I always thought it was a show for the cameras, but I guess they really did love each other.'

Suddenly, Katniss shot up and grabbed Clove's forearms desperately. 'Prim, have you seen her?! My little sister, Prim?!'

'Prim and Rue are best friends,' Clove whispered. 'They play with some cat that's attached to Prim by the hip and Rue teaches Prim how to make shelters and forts and things.'

 _We'll sail the sun, we'll ride on the rain_

 _We'll talk to the trees, we'll worship the wind_

Katniss collapsed back into the chair, tears rolling down her blotchy cheeks.

'Your father too,' Clove said, barely more than a whisper. 'He's a great man, I talk to him a lot actually. And Finnick, he spends most of his time watching over some girl he was in love with. Annie I think he said her name was.'

Katniss covered her mouth with her hand and tried to hold in the sobs.

'Hey, it's okay,' Clove soothed. 'We're so much better off now, and you have a life here with Bread Boy and your children.'

Katniss took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down. Once she felt able to speak again, she looked up into Clove's face questioningly.

 _And if you go, I'll understand_

 _Leave me just enough love to hold in my hand_

'Why have you come? I don't mean to be rude but anyone else could have, Prim, Rue, dad, anyone. And yet you're here. I was sure you'd be cursing me from wherever it was your soul went to after the life left your body.'

Clove suddenly looked shifty. 'Actually, I volunteered to come. Everyone else wanted to see you and we argued for hours over it but once I explained why I wanted to go, they decided I would be the best.'

'Why's that Clove?' Katniss breathed, 'why did you want to see me?'

 _If you go away_

 _If you go away_

Then, all of a sudden, tears began rolling down Clove's angular cheeks. She whimpered for a few seconds before she seemed to get a hold on herself.

Steeling all the courage inside of her, Clove bravely looked Katniss dead in the eye.

'I wanted to come...because I love you,' Clove breathed. 'I always have.'

 _If you go away, as I know you must_

 _They'll be nothing left in the world to trust_

'What?' Katniss whispered, expressive grey eyes gazing at the brunette. 'But-but it's been twenty years, Clove.'

'I know,' Clove said, deep green eyes becoming glassy with tears again. 'I never wanted to win. The moment I saw you, I knew I just had to save you. You had to win.'

 _Just an empty room, full of empty space_

 _Like the empty look I see on your face_

'Oh my gosh,' Katniss whispered, slowly standing from her chair and making her way tentatively over to Clove's shaking form.

Once she reached her, Katniss wasn't really sure what to do then. Clove reached out, a beautifully shy look on her young face. Her shaking hand inched closer and closer to Katniss' cheek. She stopped a few inches away, eyes filled with uncertainty. Katniss reached out reassuringly and grasped Clove's hand. It was inhumanly cold, a fact which caused several tears to flow down Katniss' cheeks as she was reminded that, as real as Clove looked, she was no longer of this world. She placed the hand gently against her own cheek, smiling kindly at the young face before her. Clove's throat made a rough little noise at the contact and Katniss' eyes watered further at the sound.

 _I live in the shadow of your shadow_

 _I thought it might have kept me by your side_

Katniss pulled Clove's icy body towards her by her forearms and stared into her pretty eyes. Their faces were inches apart and Katniss was suddenly filled with doubt.

'What?' Clove whispered gently, sensing Katniss' hesitance.

'I-I just can't believe this is happening. Well, I'm not even sure that it is. Half of me is convinced that this is just a figment of my imagination and that I'm still stood at the stove, burning the dinner. The other half is sure that this whole ordeal is just a dream, and that I'll wake up next to Peeta in a short while shaking and sweating.'

'Hey shhh,' Clove soothed, stroking a few stray strands of ebony hair away from Katniss' face. 'I just...at least I got to see you one last time, and tell you...that I love you.'

'I still can't...twenty years Clove. That's a lifetime,' Katniss whispered disbelievingly.

'I know,' Clove replied softly. 'But I would rather have this one moment of truth with you now than spend all the lifetimes this cruel world has to offer not knowing.'

 _If you go away_

 _If you go away_

And that's when Katniss knew. Without giving it another thought, she surged forwards and captured Clove's lips with her own. Clove's lips, just like the rest of her, were icy cold, but they were also heavenly soft and they were just... _Clove_.

Katniss sighed as Clove kissed her with all the passion in the world. Clove threaded her hands through Katniss' raven hair and scratched at her scalp gently, revelling in the glorious whimper she received in return. Katniss wrapped her arms around Clove's petite body, wanting to pull her in as close as possible.

 _But if you stay I'll make you a day_

 _Like no day has been or will be again_

A sudden, distant shout from outside caused the two to jump apart.

'That must be Peeta and the kids,' Katniss whispered.

'That's my cue,' Clove breathed softly.

'Oh please don't go,' Katniss pleaded. 'You just found me.'

'I don't belong here, you know that,' Clove said gently.

'But I want you to stay,' Katniss whispered, grey eyes gazing imploringly at the brunette.

 _We'll sail the sun, we'll ride on the rain_

 _We'll talk to the trees, we'll worship the wind_

Clove said nothing, there was nothing left to say. She merely pressed her forehead to Katniss', her eyes fluttering shut at the contact. She grasped Katniss' hand gently and brought it up, pressing her lips against it.

Tears rolled down Katniss' cheeks as she realised that Clove really was about to go. 'Wait for me?' She breathed, eyes locking with Clove's green orbs one final time.

'Always,' Clove whispered back. Katniss closed her eyes as she felt a sweet breeze wash over her body. When she reopened them, she was alone once again. Katniss brought her right hand to her lips and ghosted her fingers over them. They were still tingling.

 _And if you go, I'll understand_

 _Leave me just enough love to hold in my hand_

A single tear traced its way down Katniss' cheek. She wiped it away quickly as her husband and two kids came, rather noisily, through the back door.

'You alright love?' Peeta queried, staring suspiciously at her slightly blotchy cheeks.

'I'm fine,' she reassured him. 'Dinner will be about forty minutes okay?'

'Perfect, come on you two, let's get you bathed before dinner, okay?' Peeta said, steering his two rather grubby children out of the room.

 _If you go away_

 _If you go away_

As Katniss finally turned back to the neglected pasta sauce, she realised that she could hear mockingjay song again.

 _Ne me quitte pas_

As she stared up at the summer evening sky, Katniss just _knew_ that the wonderful colours on display were all Clove's doing. For her.

 _Ne me quitte pas_

 _In another life baby_ , Katniss thought. She ached for Clove with all her heart but she knew that the tiny yet feisty brunette from Two would never truly leave her. Not really.

 _Ne me quitte pas_

Katniss knew she had to honour Clove and her sacrifice by living this life to the full. Sure, the nightmares will come and the dark days will follow, but she's not alone. She has got a devoted husband in Peeta and two beautiful children to raise. And Clove, who will forever watch over her and keep her safe.

Katniss stepped out into the now darkening garden, sighing as her feet met the neatly trimmed grass which was warm where the sun had shone on it all day. She looked up at the glorious sky and closed her eyes.

 _Ne me quitte pas_

'I love you baby,' Katniss whispered, feeling the words float up into the night. She knew the soft breeze she felt in return was a reply from a better place.

Katniss sighed and turned, heading back into the house. She closed the door with a soft click and made her way to the stove.

 _Ne me quitte pas_

After all, there was dinner to be getting on with.

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **Please review.**


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